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  #1  
Old 11-10-2004
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heatherelizabeth heatherelizabeth is offline
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Love Letter to the Red States

Sorry kids, had to share it. I know the election's over and we should all begin the 'healing' process but this is just too damn good to not post (sorry for the curse words boardmom, but it's part of what makes it so damn funny and my apologies to our Southern brethren on the board):




Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, itís a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "Itís your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. Thatís right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? Itís too easy, asshole, theyíre blue states. Itís not your money, assholes, itís fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Letís talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? Itís fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, thatís right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think thatís just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.
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  #2  
Old 11-10-2004
goody59 goody59 is offline
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Too subtle.
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Old 11-10-2004
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Mosby Mosby is offline
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This kills me. There are so many inaccuracies in this diatribe that it pretty much surpasses any of the crap coming from Anne Coulter or even Bill O'Reilly. Who wrote this, Rocky Balboa? Are there really any people who actually believe that any of this is factual? I know this is supposed to be funny but it is probably one of the most ignorant things I've read in a long time.
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Old 11-10-2004
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Caddis Caddis is offline
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Can't we all just get along?
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  #5  
Old 11-10-2004
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Calexico Calexico is offline
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WOW.....What a bile ridden diatribe there....I can't speak with any authority here but I hope you got something out of your system there heatherelizabeth.....let the anger go,won't do you any good in the long run.
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  #6  
Old 11-10-2004
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BoogieMan BoogieMan is offline
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hmmm, someone's upset about the election.

I guess I was sort of feeling the same way last year when we voted about changing the currency to Euro. I then lived in the region in Sweden that is most negative to the European Union. There are some really narrowminded people there which made me want give away that part of Sweden to Norway. Only problem is that the Norwegians are smart enough to not accept such an offer
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Old 11-10-2004
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Quinn Quinn is offline
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Wow!

Sounds like Michael Savage finally converted to the blue side.

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  #8  
Old 11-10-2004
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on the beach two on the beach two is offline
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Its this kind of vile hatred that is going to undo America.Thats some serious hatred there.Best left for another board.Were all moving on trying to heal America,this shit just undoes everything.
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  #9  
Old 11-10-2004
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heatherelizabeth heatherelizabeth is offline
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Sorry, I still think it's funny as hell

Didn't post to piss you off.

And yes, I am angry about the election.


And Mosby, plenty of it is factual. PM me if you want me to give you the links so that you can check it out for yourself.


And as for letting the anger go, I didn't post in anger, much more out of amusement. But on the same note, I don't think it's a good idea to just stop being angry because an election was lost. It's ok to be angry as long as you channel it into a movement for change.

At any rate, I apologize to all who were offended by it, truly.
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  #10  
Old 11-10-2004
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sybilskelton sybilskelton is offline
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I thought it was hysterical, and I live in the reddest of all the red fucking states. Thanks Heatherelizabeth.

Sybil
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  #11  
Old 11-10-2004
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Quinn Quinn is offline
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Re: Sorry, I still think it's funny as hell

Quote:
Originally posted by heatherelizabeth


(Snip)
But on the same note, I don't think it's a good idea to just stop being angry because an election was lost. It's ok to be angry as long as you channel it into a movement for change.
I completely agree with you on this point.

All this talk of reconciliation and healing is nice, but do you think Karl Rove would just shut up and roll over if there was evidence that electoral fraud helped Kerry to a narrow win?

Of course they want us to be conciliatory...it will make it easier for them to continue cheating us.
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Old 11-10-2004
NY Fan NY Fan is offline
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A Nicer Take

A letter I did not write, but a friend of a friend did:



An Open Letter to President Bush

Dear Mr. President:

I am one of the 55 million people who voted against you. I have listened to your plea for me to get behind you and support your administration. With all due respect, Sir, the answer is a resounding no. In case you are interested, here's why.

My vote for John Kerry was a reflection of my political principles. Supporting your policies on the environment, the economy, the war in Iraq and almost every other issue would be a betrayal of those principles. Your vision for America and mine couldn't be more different. I consider it my civic duty to oppose you and speak out every time you attempt to take this country in a direction I find damaging.

In one breath you speak of finding common ground. In the next you brag about the political capital you have amassed through your re-election and intend to use to further the agenda you campaigned on. That sounds to me as if it's your way or no way. I prefer no way. Four years of gridlock would be preferable to progress on your agenda.

History has shown us how you treat the people who meet you halfway. Just ask Jean Carnahan and Max Cleland, who provided critical Senate votes in passing your signature tax cuts. You not only targeted them for defeat in their subsequent elections. You campaigned vigorously for the man who opposed Cleland by saying that the triple amputee Vietnam War vet was unpatriotic for opposing creation of the Department of Homeland Security. If that's how you reward your allies, I think I'll stay an adversary.

To quote an old saw that you tried once in Tennessee but mangled badly, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." I could have been forgiven for taking you at your word in 2000 that you would wage a foreign policy marked by humility. I was fooled. Shame on you. I won't be taking you at your word again.

After 9-11 there was a worldwide outpouring of good will and affection and support for our country. You squandered that by behaving like an arrogant bully, and you sullied our image in the eyes of the rest of the world. I spent nearly 25 years in diplomatic service trying to build bridges with foreign nations, and at this point the best I can do is to loudly and openly criticize your policies when and where I find them objectionable. The world is watching us, and I want them to know that dissent is alive and well in America.

I am a card-carrying member of the ACLU, a proud contributor to Public Citizen and NPR, a subscriber to The Nation and Mother Jones. You know...a liberal. I am also a patriot who loves this country every bit as much as you do. It pains me to hear you sneer at the ideals I hold when you spit out the word liberal as an epithet. One thing I am not is a self-loathing liberal, so why on earth would I meekly fall into line with someone who disparages me and my beliefs at every available opportunity?

That's it, Mr. President. Those are the reasons you will not have my support these next four years. I am only one of 55 million people who voted against you, but I suspect I am not unique. You can write us off, but I would like to remind you of one thing: you are sworn to be the president of all Americans, including me. My vote did not oblige me to support the policies of the winner. To put it another way, you work for me, not vice versa.

<______ _________>
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  #13  
Old 11-10-2004
Rick V Rick V is offline
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Congrats, heatherelizabeth, on the dumbest post in message board history. Yeah, I'm sure you didn't want to offend anybody.
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  #14  
Old 11-10-2004
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I'm not sure Heatherelizabeth actually wrote it and I don't see that it is THAT offensive to a country currently engaged in an illegal war.

Here's the site it comes from. Aim your diatribe there, not at heatherelizabeth. fuck the south

Last edited by Haggischomper : 11-10-2004 at 03:33 PM.
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  #15  
Old 11-10-2004
IdleDays IdleDays is offline
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Re: A Nicer Take

Quote:
Originally posted by NY Fan
A letter I did not write, but a friend of a friend did:


The world is watching us, and I want them to know that dissent is alive and well in America.

NY Fan, I applaud your friend for making this a point in their letter. I hope the world will ultimately realize this to be true.
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